It wont happen overnight....

I have to keep reminding myself of this very inconvienient fact. I had a great walk on the treadmill today (side note...for some reason the treadmill at the Y is much more fun (?) to walk on than the one at home...could be lack of children trying to climb on the back and having to stop every 5 minutes to end a fight, calm an angry baby etc) and got to thinking. I happened to look down and see my leg jiggling and got a little angry. I have been working hard for 3 weeks solid...they should NOT be jiggly anymore! Ha!

Then I thought back and realized that it took me over a year to accumulate the weight I have gained. I started gaining weight before I got pregnant as the stress of trying to get pregnant led me to my old friend...food. So a year of weight gain...30 pounds of it being pregnancy related of which I didn't lose a lot. Something about still eating like I was pregnant after I had the baby. Hmmmm. Anyway, how can I expect that much weight to just fly off in a few weeks? I can't, and I shouldn't. I need to look back to make sure, but I believe I started back on the wagon in May. Started at 223, and am now at 207. 16 pounds down in about 2 months. That isn't too bad. And 10 of that has been since we joined the Y three weeks ago or so. Sometimes the hardest part about losing weight AND getting into shape is accepting that it doesn't happen overnight...it takes time. And it's worth the wait. Get it? Wait...weight. I digress.

So, today was my most successful workout so far. I rocked Bodypump, and proceeded to walk for 25 minutes at a speed of 4 on the treadmill, which last week was almost impossible for me to do. I am considering signing up for a Couch to 5k program, and am spending more time looking for things to do to keep active, and less time gazing at the computer. Instead of goofing around all day, I WALK AWAY do a bunch of stuff, then come back for a short break.

I feel more empowered now than I have in a long time. My self image is improving...perhaps faster than my actual appearance. I feel pretty again...until I look in a mirror. I am tempted to drape all the mirrors with sheets. But I love seeing the progress as it happens. I notice that my face looks slimmer, and my legs are getting more muscular. The arms and belly always lag behind, but they'll catch up eventually. Oh, and of course my boobs are shrinking. Blah. The one area I wouldn't mind staying how it is, seems the first to whither. Ha!

Anyway, I am thrilled to be down 16 pounds, and look forward to hitting my next 15 pound marker in much less than two months! Goal weight is 150...but more importantly goal SIZE is 9/10. I am 57 pounds, and 6ish (the 16s are a little big on me now) sizes away from my goal. Here goes!!!

Rest

I worked out every day for the last 6 days for between one and two hours each day. Today is my rest day. I have to remind myself that those are important as well. My body is tired, and sore. I am beginning to notice some differences in myself already. The most obvious is the weight loss...WI this morning was 209! Woo hoo! After three months (of actually trying to lose the weight) I am just one pound away from my first 15 pound marker. :) Other differences include increased energy, though I am so sore it's tough to do a whole lot, and a higher body temp. I always feel warm lately. Must be the increased blood flow or some such thing.

One step forward, two steps back

That seems to be my weight loss pattern of late. I lose a few pounds, then gain them back. Over all though I am down 12 pounds from when I started, and that's worth documenting. :)
I have been to the Y every day this week, and feel sore but good. It's the good sore that reminds me that there are muscles hiding out in there and they are coming out of hibernation! I am really getting into the classes again, I know myself well enough to know that I won't push myself as hard as a class will. At least not yet. I usually make it through the step classes, but have had to leave a couple early. I am not beating myself up over it. I make up for it with laps on the track, or on one of the cardio machines and try again the next day. And, of course keep reminding myself that soon I will be able to make it through any class, and maybe even become that person that can bounce around the step too, rather than barely getting onto and off of it again. I was almost there when I got pregnant with James.
I plan to go tomorrow and Sunday as well, even if it's just for an hour of cardio ( I try to log about 2 hours a day during the week). We're in town, there is no reason I can't go in and get a workout.
That's all for now, appologies for being a lazy blogger! Life is pretty hectic lately what with all the gym time! :D

Back fat

So I'm going to start this off with a postive note...I am down to 210! Oh yeah! It feels so good to be on my way...7 more pounds and I'll have hit the first 20 pound marker. We rejoined the YMCA last night and I immediately went and logged 8 miles on the stationary bike. This morning I went back and went to a step/strength training class and did some walking on the track for a total of 1 hour 38 minute workout. Oh man! I forgot how great it feels to get a good workout in! That is, a workout where the kids are taken care of and not constantly underfoot, crying, fighting, or just "trying to help". 2 workouts in and I already feel more confident, and happy in general.

We are leaving town Saturday for a week in Rice Lake, so I am trying to get as much time in the gym as possible to give me a good head start for our vacation. While in Rice Lake I plan to walk every day, use the paddle boat and swim at the cabin, and of course watch closely what I eat. The eating, overindulging and eating the wrong foods is what typically kills me when we aren't home. It's really easy to just grab some fast food, or indulge in pizza with the parents. I have to be careful not to do this!

Regarding the title of this post...back fat. It is my mortal enemy. I can't see it, but know it's there. It is unsightly, annoying and trying to get rid of it can be so frustrating...I hate it. Of course there is fat everwhere...arms, legs, and especially the belly. But the back is the worst...it hides out and then out of nowhere I am compeletely aware of it and feel self concious about it. Anyway...just my little growl for the day.

This is still the beginning of my journey. I would assume that much of the weight I lose now will not be noticed easily simply because there is so far to go. Selfishly, I must admit that I can't wait until people start to notice unasked. It is it's own little prize for all of the hard work that goes into losing weight.

Do I really need a new title every time?

I have always been horrible at coming up with a good title. It becomes so tedious that I wind up spending all of my time trying to think of something witty, yet relevant and run out of time to actually write my blog. Anyway, I digress.
That is kind of the theme for this week. I digress. I haven't gained any weight back, and I am continuing to work on the no grazing rule but the workouts have been less than impressive. I walked outside 2 miles on Tuesday morning, and proceeded to laze about the last couple of days. Yesterday was my birthday so I "took the day off" and grumbled that the number on the scale stayed the same. Well, at least it didn't go up. :) Today I didn't do a workout, per se, but I did work hard today. Lots of trips upstairs and down to the basement and lots of carting around a very grumpy baby boy. And, I have been phenominal about not over eating, of which I am quite proud. It helps that I don't feel well, I suppose. Some life issues are starting to weigh on me (no pun intended) and the stress from that is making me nauseous. I am proud of myself, though, that I have not been stress eating, which is usually how I handle stress.
Well, that is all for today. I am sitting at 216 going into the weekend, my hope is tomorrows weigh in will show a loss of 1 or 2 pounds, and am praying for strength to not overeat this weekend at my birthday party.

Downward trend...good thing!

I am down to 216 as of today. I got clotheslined by a nasty cold this weekend and that kept me from getting good workouts. That's ok since I kept a close eye on my diet. The weight isn't just flying off, but it is a steady downward trend. That is ok with me. As long as the number doesn't go up, I'm happy. I am not depriving myself the foods I enjoy, just eating smaller portions of them. Food alone didn't get me to this point, lack of discipline along with bad eating habits did. I constantly have to remind myself that I don't need a second helping, nor do I need a huge first helping. Meals aside, grazing is a tough habit to kick too. I am so used to snacking on whatever is handy while James eats, while I cook supper, while I watch TV that whenever I am doing these activities I find my hands just grabbing whatever is handy. So...again I have to tell myself NO! I'm not perfect, but am getting better.
Of course, diet is only half the equation. With two kids at home during the day(three in a couple weeks when school is out) combined with very little sleep, a consistant workout routine can be challenging. I counter this by incorporating exercise whenever I can. Today is a playdate at a park that is about a mile from my house. If I go, I have to walk there, or get my treadmill walk in before I leave. If I don't do a workout in the morning, chances are pretty good that I wont get it done. Afternoons are just too busy.

Oh Yeah!

I had a great workout today! Yesterday I walked with the kids and dogs with James in the carrier and I thought that was good. Today I rocked the treadmill using some methods I learned from a trainer a little over a year ago. It felt great! I am hoping I didn't overdo it...I don't mind being sore from a good workout, but I have to be able to get back on the 'mill tomorrow and do it again.
Jim and I have been talking a lot about joining the Y later this summer, and the old arguments are coming back before we even join. Wanting to work out together, but me also wanting to go in the morning being the main one. Part of me wants to just say "screw it" and not bother with it. But then out of nowhere Paige will ask about her friends at the Y and swimming class and get sad. That seals the deal. I have been a member at a few different gyms over the years and the Y is the only one I've been at where family is so important. They really go out of their way to know everyone by name, and provide affordable classes for the kiddos as well as great group classes for the parents. No...this is not intended to be an ad for the Y!!!
Anyway, as I've mentioned before, a block for me tends to be "but if only I could go to the gym, everything would be better" when in reality, I have the tools to do it right here. I can push myself and kick my butt on the treadmill. I can walk outside with the dogs. I can wear my shape up (well, my Target knock offs) shoes around the house. I can bench James while we're playing on the floor (he loves this game!). There are so many things that I can, and have been doing lately that may seem small but make a huge difference at the end of the day.
The biggest hurdle for me aside from exercise is diet. I am a grazer, and I have to train myself TRAIN myself to stop doing that! I am counting calories, but at this point am not being super strict. 1500-1600 a day is still a lot less than what I was taking in. The key for me is being aware of what I am eating and when. I set myself up on a meal/snack schedule and am working on drinking more water throughout the day. I started at 223 on Wednesday morning, and am now at 218 after only a couple of days. When the weight loss starts to plateau I will cut my calories back, and as I get stronger I will up my exercise routine.
I admitt I am a little bummed that I will not be at my goal weight for summer, but I look forward to shrinking in the heat! It would have been nice, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. There will be plenty of summers for me to look good, this will just be the one where I got there. :)